Sorry for the long letter... Here it goes,
Dear NLB Library Member,
1. Thank you for using our library services.
2. To promote responsible use of public library resources, and to ensure that library materials are available for all to use, NLB will be changing its borrowing policies from 1 April 2009. If you accumulate library fines and fees, this change will affect you. If you return items on time, or do not accumulate fines and fees, then you will be unaffected by this change.
3. Library Policies Changes for (1) Unpaid library fines and fees and (2) Renewal Charges
From 1 April 2009,
-All library members with any unpaid library fines and fees in their account will have their borrowing privileges disrupted until ALL library finds and fees have been settled.
- However, to enable library members to better enjoy our services, books and magazines can be renewed for FREE from 1 April 1009. The current renewal charge of $0.50 per book/magazine/music score will be removed from 1 April 2009.
a) Books/music score can be renewed once for an additional 3 weeks loan period.
b)Magazines can be renewed once for an additional 2 week loan period.
c)Audio-visual materials will continue to be non-renewable die to their limited collection size (no change).
d) All your borrowed items must be before or on the due date. Items which have been reserved by other library users cannot be renewed.
With this change, we will encourage borrowers to return library items promptly, so that resources can be made available for others.
4. Library Fines and Fees in your account.
As of 15 January 2009, you have a total unpaid sum of $4.35 in your account. We request you to settle these immediately so that your borrowing privileges will not be disrupted on 1 April 2009.
5. If you have already paid, please ignore this letter.
6. Should you need any help, please contact us:
Xxxxxxxx
Xxxxxxxx
7. We look forward to your continued visits to our libraries.
Thank you
Yours sincerely,
N Varaprasad (DR)
CHIEF EXCUTIVE
NATIONAL LIBRARY BOARD
______________________________________________________________
After reading through this letter, I feel that this can be classified under a bad news letter applying the indirect method. The method of writing can be easily detected when it states the reasons for the change in the policy of unpaid library fines and charges, and giving the details to show that such changes will benefit all other library members.
As this is not a letter between companies but to consumers, I feel that it would be more appropriate to use the indirect method. If a direct approach method was used, the message may invoke strong reactions from the recipients and may be considered as being rude to the consumers.
Looking at the template of the letter, I feel that there were too many sub-points to the letter especially at point 3. This may cause the readers to be confused with what are the more important points in the letter. This also does not match with the 7Cs of effective communication on conciseness, using the least number of words to present the ideas.
For the 4th point, it was mentioned that "We request you to settle these immediately..." This is an inappropriate usage of words and tone. Using the words "request" and "immediately" are too blunt. Thus, it would be more tactful to rephrase the sentence to "We strongly encourage you to settle these fines as soon as possible, to avoid disruption in your borrowing privileges."
Applying the 7Cs in effective communication, I feel that this letter is generally well written fulfilling the rest of the 7Cs and the template of a letter.
3 years ago
Dear Kristin,
ReplyDeleteI agreed with most of your comment and I also feel that this letter could be written better. It’s kind of lengthy as there were too many things to cover in the letter. However, I think it is actually more of an “informative” or “reminder” instead of a bad news. I think that it is actually a piece of “good news” because in point 3 it was mentioned that library members no longer need to pay a renewal fee.
I think this letter was quite well written as it was written in a very clear and consise way making it easy to read and understand especially for people with a hectic schedule who have no time to read details. The main ideas of the letter can be understand easily by reading briefly.
Lastly, I do agree with you that the tone used in the 4th point was not really polite, they should have used phrases like “please be reminded” instead. In overall, this is a relatively well written letter.
Cheers,
Li Yun
Hi Kristin,
ReplyDeleteI think this serve as both information and reminder, and not one more than the other. It is a reminder for those for have seen or read the rules before, and serve as information for those who have not seen or read it before, namely, new members. Hence, the length is bound to be long, and not concise, failing to meet one of the 7Cs of effective writing.
Another thing I noticed is that there is repeat of reminders to pay the fines, in point 2 and point 3, paragraph 1. This contributed to the length, and if the same point is not repeated, the length can be reduced.
The letter is fine but NLB can improve on it :)
Munting
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteHi Kristin,
ReplyDeleteI agree with you that the last sentence in the 4th point needs to be paraphased into a more polite tone. In this way, the recipient may be more willing to pay their undue fine.
Overall, the letter is quite well-written. Indeed, the use of enumeration in the letter enables the recipient to gather information easily and quickly.
However, I agree with Munting that the objective of this letter is to inform members about their new services and to remind them about paying fines on time. Hence, it may not be a bad news after all.
On top of that, I think that the letter can be written in a more concise manner by putting information with regards to their new services in a new leaflet.
Cheers,
Wei Tian
Hi Kristin
ReplyDeleteThis letter is indeed well-written and fulfills the 7Cs. It has a more informative tone, as what Munting has mentioned earlier. The format of the letter makes it easier for the recipient to accept the fine reminder in paragraph 4. Firstly, the letter states the reasons for the disruption of services, consequences if the fine is not paid and the reinstatement of the borrowing service once the fine is paid. This is enough information to alert the reader regarding the actions to be taken should the reader have an outstanding fine.
The letter is coherent and concise due to the use of points to state some information. If these were put in paragraph form, the intended purpose would not be as impactful.
I would not be upset if I received a letter like this. (:
Sincerely,
Ariana